Hooray Advice | How to be a bridesmaid
So pretty much the first thing your bestie wants to do once her hunky chunk of a man has put sparkly on the fourth finger of her left hand, is to choose YOU as her guuurl, wing woman, or as Pinterest puts it, taffeta wearing biatch…otherwise known as bridesmaid.
You share a little scream or tear as you excitedly accept and can’t wait to stand by her side on what will probably be the most important day of her life.
But then is dawns on you…you have never been a bridesmaid, what are you supposed to do…what if she wants you to wear a lighter shade of poo!? ew!
Never fear, Hooray and our team of Bridesmaid experts are here! Seriously some of us have been a bridesmaid 4 times! So pour yourself a
glass of wine cup of coffee, and enjoy our pointers on how to literally be the best bridesmaid ever!
- Listen to your Bride.
When your Bride says she does not want to be dressed in a tutu with glowing penis pom-poms. Please DON’T dress her in a tutu with glowing penis pom-poms. The days of total embarrassment are over and although some fun and games are totally acceptable we are seeing a more elegant take on Kitchen Tea’s and Hens nights. So rather than plan something she is going to have nightmares of for the rest of her life, ask her to write down a guideline with her top ten do’s and dont’s. You don’t have to follow it to the T, but this will help you get an idea of what she would really like and things to stay far away from.
- Discuss your Budget
Not everyone in the bridal party can afford to contribute the same amount of money towards the celebrations. If you are all planning on splitting the costs evenly, make sure you have all agreed on a budget before going out shopping. If you are happy to be flexible, you don’t all have to contribute the same amount. Sometimes a contribution of time and skill is far greater than a monetary contribution. Make sure to stick to your plan. It’s an awful kind of awkward to be skint in the first place, so don’t be a douchebag by going R2000 over the agreed budget and then dishing out the bill like it ain’t no thang.
- Kick-ass shindig
Now, with bearing our first two points in mind, organise her a kickass shindig for her bachelorette party. You know her. Don’t pretend you don’t. The worst thing is being at a bridal shower when a (happily) conservative bride is surprised with a sexy stripper, her eyes pleading for it to be over from the second it begins.
Think about what makes her tick. If she’s outdoorsy go on a camping or hiking adventure. If she’s a morning person go for an early morning urban treasure hunt or organise a champagne breakfast. If she’s active organise a trail run, or take a group surfing lesson. If she’s a foodie go to an exotic cooking class or have a wine and chocolate pairing cocktail party. There is so much more out there than a cocktail dance at Billys.
- Be pumped for the dress fitting
This is often the first bridesmaid duty you’ll be asked to perform. Make her feel special, a little flower crown and a cupcake can go a long way to making a dress fitting seem even more extra-special than it already is.
- Be honest, but tactful
Make sure to give your 100% most honest (but TACTFUL) opinion on each dress she tries. You may be thinking “This is hideous” but your feedback should be more “This one is not really a winner for me”. You see, the bride will KNOW the one when she tries on her dress, so unless it is a rubbish bag with holes for the arms and head, make sure to keep your opinions honest but not brutal. She may be feeling like ‘this is the one’ and then be crushed when you make a gagging face as she walks out the change room to twirl.
- Wear the dress
If you hate the dress your bride has allocated you, let her know, but if she goes with it anyway just suck it up. The bride has too many things to think about and organise to add your tastes and insecurities to the list. Wear it and smile.
- Make a wedding playlist
Give this to her once you’ve accepted her invitation to be a bridesmaid. Play it when you’re DIYing vases or folding a million origami cranes together, or driving from dress fitting to dress fitting, and don’t forget to push play while getting ready for the main event. Music is linked to emotions which are linked to memories. Feel warm and fuzzy knowing that, from now until forever, she will smile whenever she hears a song off that playlist and she remembers her wedding season.
- Emergency Supplies
Carry an ‘emergency supplies’ kit on the day. Lipstick, plasters (band aids), cotton buds, hairpins, Panado (or Myprodol depending on how the bride rolls), dental floss, tissues, needle and thread, Zam-Buk (it fixes everything). Your bride will 9 times out of 10 be holding a big bouquet instead of a handbag so if you can come to the rescue in case of some minor emergency like a lipstick smudge or an itchy red mosquito bite (see Zam-Buk above) you’ll definitely be on the receiving end of some major bridesmaid points.
- Feed your Bride
Make sure your bride eats! Otherwise you might be holding her hair back after one glass of champagne.
- Social media
Discuss before hand with your bride what is acceptable on the day of the wedding regarding Facebook posts and Instagram. There is NOTHING worse than getting ahead of yourself in your excitement and sharing a picture of the brides dress on Instagram before she has even walked down the aisle. Yes you look pretty with your hair did and professional make-up on, but maybe the bride does not want a gazillion selfies of you up on Facebook before the wedding has even started. This is her day, respect it and save your gazillion photographs for the next day once all the celebrations are over.
- H2O Patrol
Straight after the ceremony the couple is generally inundated with hugs and well wishes before being briskly whisked away for their portrait session. There is nothing worse than trying to lock lips and be romantic while having a serious case of dry-mouth so be on hand to offer them something cold and a stick of gum.
Get on the dance floor and shake that thing. Depending on the crowd, people can feel awkward to start cutting shapes so lead the way and get the party started. Same goes for when the DJ hits a floor-clearing jam. Re-ignite the fire as soon as the next song starts playing. And our last and probably most important point…
- Stay Awake
I can’t tell you how many weddings I have attended where the bridesmaids slink off to bed. This is not on. Yes you have had a long day and the months of planning and preparation have taken their toll. While your bride is partying, so are you. Kick off your shoes if you must, grab a Redbull and party the night away with your bestie. Do not succumb to the urge to slink off to bed. That is just not okay.