Body Positivity with Lisa
How to Be the Best Version of you on your Wedding Day
It’s finally happening, the date is set, and the countdown to your big day has begun!
You know you should be filled with excitement at the thought of this wonderful celebration of your love – but instead, you’re struggling to shake the nerves.
In the run-up to your wedding, it’s normal for insecurities to be magnified. You might be scrutinising every inch of your body, thinking about all of those eyes on you, the photographs are taken from every angle, the expectation to look like a fairytale princess.
It’s a lot to handle, on top of all the things you need to plan! So, this article is here to remind you that you don’t have to earn “bride status.” There’s no requirement to “fix” every imperfection. You are loved and loveable as you are right now!
Here are 8 action steps you can take to keep you feeling good.
You already know that bridal mags are filled with models, who’ve been airbrushed. But really let that sink in. They are models – whose full-time job it is to look fabulous in clothes, who still don’t meet societal expectations and have been digitally altered. Use the magazines as tools for inspiration, without letting the images mean anything about your worthiness.
The same goes for social media accounts. If they make you feel bad, unfollow them. Look for accounts that use diverse body shapes, so you can see just how fabulous all brides can look on their wedding day.
When you feel yourself being triggered into comparison, try to realise that this is the cultural bias that you were been born into. You’ve been taught from a very young age that brides should look a certain way. It takes conscious effort to free yourself from that inaccurate mindset.
Avoid Fad Diets
It can be very tempting to consider a crash diet or bridal boot camp to “fix” your body before your big day. There’s so much profit to be made from the insecurity of brides, don’t let yourself be caught up in the mix.
I invite you to consider how these extreme weight-loss strategies have worked for you before. The main side effects are usually low energy, extreme grumpiness, mental stress, and even weight gain. That is not the recipe for a happy bride-to-be!
Ignore the Numbers
I want to remind you that health is more important than size. Did you know that you can be plus-size and healthy in the same way you can be skinny and unhealthy? So, try to stop obsessing about the numbers:
- Your weight
- Dress size
Ditch the scales and try shifting your focus onto feeling healthy and vital for your special day. Measure how happy you feel, measure your mood, measure how ready you are for the dance floor and your honeymoon boudoir!
Dress for Your Shape
Unpopular opinion: Ignore the current trends and dress in a style that suits your body shape! This is the best way to ensure you look and feel fabulous – in a dress that will look great in photos for years to come.
Before you go shopping, do your homework! Google how to accentuate your best features, speak to an image consultant, ask the people at the bridal boutique before you arrive, make sure they have samples in your size. Trust the experts, open your mind, ignore the sizing labels, and try on lots (and lots) of different styles!
You’ll soon discover that you can look and feel fabulous exactly as you are right now!
Choose Your Shopping Partners Carefully
You’ve heard the horror stories and seen the movies… for some reason, wedding dress shopping can bring out the worst in friends and family.
Be sure to invite only those who you know won’t bring stress and drama! This should be a fun experience, so invite your best cheerleaders who will support you and make the day feel extra special.
If someone in your shopping party does make an unhelpful comment, try not to let it hurt you. Realise that they are projecting their own body insecurities onto you. You know better.
Buy a Dress that Fits!
Once you’ve found the dress of your dreams, don’t be tempted to buy one that is too small. Many brides buy a size or two smaller hoping they’ll be motivated to shrink to fit into it.
That is a strategy almost guaranteed to bring stress and misery! Please don’t do that to yourself.
Be Kind to Yourself
As your wedding day approaches, you may find that your insecurities seem to grow. The pressure on brides is real, so remember that you’re not alone in feeling this way. Try to focus on the things you love about yourself – and how you are uniquely beautiful.
Boost your self-care by adding lots of small things to your day that will make you feel good. Take deep breaths, play your favourite music, buy fresh flowers, enjoy bubble baths, hang out with friends and walk in nature.
When you’re stuck in your head and spiralling into stress about the way you look, anchor yourself in the reason why you’re doing all of this.
You’re celebrating love! You are loved for who you are, not your shape and size. Your partner loves YOU. They want to marry YOU. Isn’t that what you want this day to be all about?
When it feels hard to reconnect to this why, breathe. Then grab your journal and pen, and write down all the reasons you feel grateful to be getting married to this wonderful person. Bring yourself back down to earth softly, and forgive yourself for feeling insecure. You’re not the only bride to feel this way.
Almost every bride feels insecure about their body before their wedding day, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
Try to remember that you’re about to be married to a wonderful partner who sees your true beauty and loves you for who you are, regardless of the number on the scales. I encourage you to see yourself through their eyes and embrace the fabulous bride that you already are!